Friday, May 31, 2013

Remember That Time...

Remember that time Superman got drunk and accused Marilyn Monroe of being Oswald's second gunman?

Superman Jack Kennedy Accusation

Yeah, that was weird.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

MRE Review: Menu 23, Pasta in Pesto

Use Leftovers

But seriously Robyn, I hear you asking, why the hell are you writing comical-in-quotation-marks reviews of MREs?

I’ll tell you why. I write them because, as a child, it was my dream to become the funniest person ever to review video games.

That dream was shattered when Gael Greene's hilarious review of GTA: Vice City set the bar impossibly high. But I'm plucky in defeat, and consoled myself by resolving to become the funniest person to ever review combat rations. It has the same number of syllables, but it's a much less competitive category. I have a chance to pull it off, assuming I can keep The Spoony Experiment's Noah Antwiler off my turf.

Spoony Crown
This man is too dangerous.
He cannot be allowed to learn of MREs.
And now to address the second most common question I receive (by exactly a 1 to 2 ratio): How did I manage to get my hands on these combat rations?

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Birthdays

I hate birthdays.

Allow me to restate that, in case you think (for some strange reason) that I’m taken to hyperbole: Birthdays are worse than the fucking Nazis. They’re worse than the black death. They’re worse than the Carrot Top movie.

Okay, okay, maybe that last one is going too far, but suffice it to say that I really hate them. When I say I hate birthdays, I mean that I loathe them with the fiery passion of a thousand suns. If engineers could find a way to draw power from my hatred of birthdays at a mere 0.1% efficiency, humanity would instantly become a type II civilization, and I could finally check that off my bucket list.

Birthdays. Ugh.

For one thing, I don’t get the celebration.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Past Due Reviews: Hyperdrive

Hyperdrive Title

Hyperdrive is no Red Dwarf. Let’s get that out of the way first thing. It was billed as a kind of spiritual heir to Red Dwarf, but it just doesn’t measure up to that lofty standard. Seriously, though, what the hell does? If Mark Twain collaborated with Jane Austen and God to write a sci-fi comedy show, it wouldn't be half as awesome as the first six seasons of Red Dwarf. It might, of course, rival seasons 7 and 8, and let's not speak of the movie. Or the extra season after that.

What the fuck Red Dwarf? Learn to end gracefully.

Anyway, we were talking about Hyperdrive.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

The Digestive System, Part 2: Swallowing

Crossing the External Threshold: Swallowing


Pharynx, Nose, Mouth, Throat cross section
You probably think swallowing is easy, don’t you?

You ignorant son-slash-daughter of a bitch.

Swallowing in humans is a nuanced and complex affair, requiring the coordinated execution of voluntary and involuntary motions, precisely timed to send food down your greedy gullet.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Don't do it!

My spies have informed me that Toby Harrison, longtime (relatively speaking) friend of the blog, is recklessly encouraging kids to travel through time.

I just want you all to know, so if you find yourself erased from existence, you'll know who to blame.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Plugging a Good Cause and a Good Book


It's Microfinance Time.
As the owner of a blog with a weekly readership in the high single digits, I have a special obligation to endorse only the finest goods and services.

And it is without hesitation that I ask, nay, order you to buy Bob Harris's new book, The International Bank of Bob. So stop whatever you're doing. Turn off that web browser, put down that baby, shut down that air traffic control station, toss that beryllium dome back onto its sub-critical mass of plutonium, and go buy this book.

International Bank of Bob
Bob Harris was working as a travel correspondent in Abu Dhabi, reviewing $75 cups of coffee,staying in

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

MRE Review: Menu 22, Sloppy Joe

After last month's MRE review, some of you wrote in to ask why a science/nerd blog is reviewing military rations. Allow me to answer your question with a question of my own: Why do you hate our troops so much?

Ahem.

The modern combat ration would not be possible without an unassuming little technological marvel called a