Saturday, November 30, 2013

A Post About Football(?)

 Are you watching college football right now? Well, obviously not, since you're reading this.

But if you're going to be watching college football, or you just looked down from the game to see if there are any new articles on A2R (IT COULD HAPPEN,) be warned that Shelley at No, I'm Not Talking to Myself is locked in a winner-takes-something battle to the defeat against Jake Trotter at ESPN.com.

Shelley pitted her powers of prediction against the pitiless pro in this post (warning: may cause alliteration.)

It's still early, with only one game of their four predictions decided, but so far it's not looking good for either contestant. That's assuming that football score predictions work on a "closest without going over" rule, like on The Price is Right.

It's possible I'm mistaken about that.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Digestive System, Part 9: The Colon

Path of poop through the colon.
Adapted from an image CC CC Olek Remesz.

The last time we looked at the digestive system, feces was piling up in the cecum. So where’s it going from there?

We’ve already gone over contractions in the colon that serve primarily to mix, but the real movers and shakers in the colonic mobility world are Giant Migrating Contractions. GMCs are real truth in advertising: contractions that cause giant migrations (of poop.) They occur in the small intestines too, to move chyme into the cecum, but in the colon they’re notable for occurring only three times per day, and moving feces a full third of the way through the colon at one go.1 You’ve probably noticed these from time to time, as a sensation of sudden movement inside your belly. The next time you notice one, make sure to tell the person next to you that your colonic feces has just undergone a Giant Migrating Contraction. If they don’t edge away from you, it’s love.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

MRE Review: Menu 13, Tortellini Vegetarian

Corn: The Food of the Nation
You’ll recall that we've been exploring the problem of under-consumption in early MRE’s. According to a scientific report, the top three reasons for troops not cleaning their plates were:
  1. The food was shit
  2. Field conditions are not conducive to eating
  3. People are fucking stupid
We've already tackled the first two, so let’s finish this sucker off, Thanksgiving style, with an essay I like to call…

Dude? People Are Fucking Stupid