New Year

No article this week, what with the likely excuse holiday. Speaking of festive, I found these screenshots while cleaning out some old folders:

I know what you're thinking: "Are there any more of these in the world? It would make a great belated Christmas present for those kids I forgot I had."

Sadly, I am convinced that this thing was hand-forged by the demon Adramalech from the twisted soul of a serial killer, and is therefore a one-of-a-kind item.

This thing costs sixty-seven pounds to ship. That may sound outrageous, but remember that, by law, it has to be escorted by an exorcist at all times.

"I tried to throw it away, but it kept showing up in my living room again. I took it to the foundry and burned it, but when I got home, it was right there, waiting for me, staring at me. A Gypsy woman told me that the only way to get rid of it is if someone willingly takes it from me."

Six people bid on this thing, but only one of them won the auction and is currently being eaten alive by it.