Monday, July 8, 2013


Why so much toilet paper?

This is the stall in the ladies room where I work.

The janitors keep putting fresh rolls on the dispensers, long before the last roll is finished. But, in an admirable-but-misguided attempt to reduce waste, they move the half-used rolls to ever more distant corners of the stall, further and further away from the one place where they might actually get used.

I don't know why they do this. They're like... squirrels or something, scurrying around the stall with rolls of toilet paper stuffed into their cheeks, looking for somewhere to bury them.

By next week, I expect to see toilet paper rolls in the sink and, shortly afterwards, propped outside the bathroom door. My long-term projections indicate that, within three years, our janitors will be quietly placing half-used toilet paper rolls in your living room.

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